Dave Guerra (the official blog)

19 January 2023

YOUR VALUE SYSTEM & SUCCESS - A CHART

This week’s CHART focuses on YOUR VALUE SYSTEM & SUCCESS

It continues to be a running theme (and it will be for a long time to come) when it comes to the VALUE SYSTEM you have, one thing is certain that VALUE SYSTEM will impact your current and future SUCCESS.

There is no way around that fact. As you are the driver of your SUCCESS and your SUCCESS is fueled by your VALUES then it is SOLELY up to you whether you SUCCEED or FAIL. It is that simple.

For instance, if you have cesspool level VALUES then your success will never be greater than that of a full & stinky OUTHOUSE.

But if your VALUES are high and kept at the high level then your level of SUCCESS will increase. Remember, the moment you stop working on your system of VALUES is also the moment your success stops growing. There is no free ride. There is no ONE & DONE when it comes to success. Look at those news stories of LOTTERY WINNERS losing it all.

They lost it all because while there is no such thing as INSTANT SUCCESS. They lost it all because their value system was so low that they could not deal with their rapid payout. They were still living with their VALUE system based on something they have always known. Now when confronted with something they never knew they retreated back to what they have always known only to put them right back where they started.

Change yourself by changing your current mindset to elevate yourself based on improving your VALUE SYSTEM. Thus, placing YOU on a PATH to SUCCESS.

For those that need a little more explanation: When I say SUCCESS, I mean SUCCESS in LIFE to include but not limited to RELATIONSHIPS, FINANCE, and EDUCATION.

Thank you,
David Guerra

P.S. I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

P.P.S. To order your copy of Great To Follow: Amazon paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble paperback
To order your copy of The Walking Leader: Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

12 January 2023

RESPONSIBILITY & ACCOUNTABILITY & LEVELS OF SELF-RESPECT - A BELL CURVE

This week’s BELL CURVE focuses on RESPONSIBILITY & ACCOUNTABILITY & LEVELS OF SELF-RESPECT

I have said it before and I will continue to say it, in any manner possible when it comes to holding yourself ACCOUNTABLE and RESPONSIBLE.

In this case, I am addressing YOUR level of SELF-RESPECT. Just like being transparent and forthcoming, the same applies when it comes to Accountability and Responsibility. The more you accept responsibility and hold yourself accountable for the actions you took, the actions you did not take, for the things you said, and for the things you did not say the more you will start to understand yourself.

When it comes to understanding yourself, your level of SELF-RESPECT increases.

Increasing your level of SELF-RESPECT will work towards becoming a better person, a better human being.

There are far too many individuals that maintain an average level of SELF-RESPECT in that at any moment, they could raise their level. Then again, they are more apt to lower that level for any number of reasons or for no reason at all, to include not knowing any better.

Lowering that level of SELF-RESPECT is easy when people are constantly and consistently NOT held accountable for their actions (either in words or deeds or both). Yet, by raising your level of SELF-RESPECT as with anything else that makes you feel good about yourself you will work hard to stay ABOVE AVERAGE.

But, saying to others that you are ABOVE AVERAGE is truthfully, below average speak. It is in your actions and doing that speak louder than words ever will. To make the process of being ABOVE AVERAGE easier and faster to achieve, certainly helps when you are actively and undeniably holding yourself ACCOUNTABLE & accepting RESPONSIBILITY for yourself, all the time and without fail.

05 January 2023

FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS & THE COMMON DENOMINATOR - A CHART

This week’s CHART focuses on FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS & THE COMMON DENOMINATOR

We have all had good relationships and bad relationship. Some people hit a homerun and finally have GREAT RELATIONSHIPS. While others are doomed to terrible relationships or so it seems.

Usually, those individuals that somehow have knack for finding themselves in a “bad romance” or two or three or twelve will always push the reason for the failure of the relationship unto the other individual.

All the while missing the KEY COMPONENT in the failed relationships, the COMMON DENOMINATOR: Them.

For those that are not sure what I am talking about. Well, let’s define COMMON DENOMINAOR. The common denominator is defined as “a feature shared by all members of a group.”

So, there is you, Person A, in a failed relationship with Person B. Then there is you, Person A, in a failed relationship with Person C. Next, there is you, Person A, in a failed relationship with Person D. Sometime soon, there will be you, Person A, in a failed relationship with Person E. Of course, almost immediately is you, Person A, in a failed relationship with Person F and so on, ad nauseum.

Thus, out of the SIX examples of failed relationships, the common denominator is Person A, that’s right, YOU!

The sooner you realize you are the cause of the failed relationships the sooner you can move on to fix yourself and fix your future. Otherwise, please continue to keep picking the RIGHT people to have Bad Relationships with.

01 January 2023

Happy New Year! 2023 is Here! Are You Ready?

The new year just started and of course it comes loaded with good intentions, resolutions, and lots and lots of hope. That’s all fine and dandy until sometime around the 21st of January when all that goes out the window and reality sets in. Of course, most that just above average, they may hold out until Valentine’s Day or President’s Day. So, for the most part, those resolutions are gone.

But why are those intentions, resolutions and self-promises gone so quickly?

They go away because those that talk a good game are just that. They talk and talk but find themselves lacking in the foundation to actually deliver on that talk. It takes more to make something happen, to make anything happen than it does to just sitting there like a slug and letting the world pass you by.

So, KUDOS to those that know and do what it takes to achieve success. But for everyone else, if you want success, you have got to put in the work.

If people are not putting in the work, then they are not preparing to win, they are prepared to lose. Yes, it is that simple.

Thus, I present to you the following in hopes that you will take what I am sharing and make something good happen. Yet, it is up to you. For those that proclaim they do not need help in preparing for success and yet continue to find themselves making those empty promises, resolutions and what not every new year, how has that been working out for you?

I get you. I understand you. I also do not understand the following: while success is ALWAYS within reach, you refuse to do something about it and never actually grasp what is rightfully yours. Thus, I am sharing with you something that may help you get to where you want to be at the end of 2023.

Here are the 5 things to do mentally and physically do to get yourself ready for the CHANGE that is the new year of 2023.

While many will be giving their two cents on what the new year will bring. I give to you for free one thing that is certain: 2023 will be a year of change yet again.

Let me explain, 2020 became a year of change and adapting to change when the pandemic hit the world. 2021 another year of change when the pandemic refused to go away and so we learned to change and adapt for the long haul. Then 2022 was no different. 2022 reminded us that while we weathered the storm, change remained abundant and that it was here to stay, as it always has been present. Now in 2023 and well into the future, change continues and will continue to be with us for the rest of our lives.

So, let’s take the time, now, to get our mind and body right and ready for the new year.

- - -

Number 1: Stop with the Game of Words

Stop saying “I will do this” and “I will do that”. Instead, start doing. You are not fooling anyone when it comes saying what you want to do instead of actually doing it.

People say, I want to lose 20 pounds in the new year. So, there you are pounding back two Advil tablets and copious amounts of Diet Pepsi, before you know it you lose the 20 pounds but it comes right back. It comes right back because you don’t know any better.

It comes right back because you are cheating your body and so it kicks into "starvation" mode and before you know it, your body has tricked your mind and soon you are back to downing your daily Cinnamon Dolce Lattes with stuffed pizza or fast-food hamburgers and fries. Then only to soon find yourself back on the steady diet of those two Advil tablets to kill the hunger pangs and the Diet Pepsi to fill your stomach, all in another vain attempt to lose those twenty pounds that you cannot seem to lose.

The point of the story is if you are not prepared to follow through then don’t bother starting especially if you are not being true to yourself. Especially, if that means you are not doing anything to benefit your body and mind. Find a better way. To find a better way most certainly begins with shutting up and putting in the work.

Number 2: First, Make Yourself the Priority

What good are you to your family, job, let alone what good are you to yourself if you refuse to make yourself the top priority in your life? Seriously, think about this if you have any doubt in what I am saying: What good are you to anyone if you are broken, incapable, unable or to simply cannot provide?

That’s right, you are not good to anyone. Why prioritize yourself before others? Sure, it sounds selfish but isn’t it even more selfish to allow something to happen to you that could have been prevented all because you failed to make yourself the top priority?

Take care of yourself. Do not pay lip service to those words but actually do something about it (remember #1). Plan now for those days to take off to do a little R & R (rest and recuperation), set them in stone NOW. Do so this week, do not kid yourself by saying “I’ll do it next week.” Next week will never come and soon you will find yourself mired in misery, that special kind of self-imposed misery. This misery comes because you failed to make the time, now, to create an escape plan.

What is the escape plan? It is the plan you create now that you will put in place when the time comes to taking a long weekend, a short vacation, or whatever you feel will be enough to release some of the steam that’s been building up in the pressure cooker of life.

Remember, you matter most to yourself, first. That is not selfish but a reality.

Number 3: No One Cares About What You Do. People Only Care about Themselves.

This is a reality too many people refuse to believe. I was one of those non-believers. Through whatever trauma I encountered in my early life that led me to be a people pleaser. It did not matter who the person was I was trying to please; I was always trying to win the approval of others by doing things that I “perceived” they wanted. These others ranged from close family members to complete strangers. For any number of reason and yet when all was said and done, they were not please and only demanded more and more from me and there I was giving it.

Then one day, as it happens for most people, I found myself in a hole that I dug myself into because I was “people pleasing” again. This time I said “enough is enough.” I had nothing to prove to any but to myself. Of course, those that wanted to see me come begging for approval or validation did not like that I stopped looking their way, as my well of self-imposed misery had finally run dry.

Of course, they made it known that they were not happy with me. While, at this point, it would have been quite easy to slip back to “people pleaser” mode, it was the realization that what others wanted was what they only wanted, that made me realize that they did not give a crap about me. They only cared about how and when I was feeding their ego, validating their existence and making them the center of attention. However, when it was my turn to share something with them or have my ego fed, I might as well have been pulling teeth, because it was not going to happen. See, acknowledging me would mean they were no longer the center of attention.

Since, realizing what I have allowed for far too long to continue, I now feel refreshed, I feel brand new, and most of all, I feel like what it feels likes when you dive in too deep, you run low on oxygen and just when you feel like you are about to run out of air, you finally swim to the top and take that deep breath. That’s what I feel like and when it becomes your turn, you too will know just what it feels like.

While I cannot say when your time will come to realize that people really do not care what you do and they are only in it for themselves. When you see that their only attachment to you is based on what kind of attention and validation you can give them then hopefully you are not in too deep. I can assure you that day will come and I wish that it comes to you sooner rather than later in life as it came to me.

That realization will sting. It will hurt. You will question yourself for taking such harsh action but in the end, isn’t your own well-being (mentally and physically) what matters most? As I have said before, if they don’t like it, well that’s on them for playing that role in my life.

Number 4: Learn to Say NO

When it comes to protecting yourself and making yourself the top priority the sooner you know and understand that you will need to, have to, and must learn to say NO will get you to where you want to be without any real hesitation, procrastination, or reservation.

Saying NO has always been a problem for me. Growing up I was conditioned to never say NO otherwise, what happened next was the kind of action that, in this day and age, would involve Child Protective Services making an unannounced house call, well, that was then. Sure, people do not like being told NO but life happens. Sadly, when tables turn and those that said NO to you (in the past) now are being told NO, well you would think the world has come to an end for them. You know the type of person I am talking about here. We ALL have them in our lives and they most certainly know who they are.

However, saying NO should never be considered as a “tit-for-tat” situation. Remember, only children and individuals with a childish mentality play the “tit-for-tat” games. I remember one such “tit-for-tat” game that someone played with me. I was 17 and the other child was 34 (thirty-four). The other child told me in no uncertain terms and conditions, “Because you don’t like my boyfriend, I don’t like your girlfriend.” Seriously, what a completely childish game of “tit-for-tat”. There have been others before and after but for some reason this one stands out as the most childish of all.

So, when it comes to saying NO, of course you can pick and choose but why would you want to?

Being consistent with everyone shows that not only are you serious but you are not playing favorites and that everyone is also on the same sheet of music when to comes to you. Remember, only those that have issues with you branching out on your own are the ones that are going to have the “hurt” feelings all because you exercise your right to say NO.

These are your standards and boundaries to make and if they don’t like it, well that’s on them.

Number 5: If they don’t like it, that’s on them.

Nowhere is it written that people have to like you or like what you do. Nowhere is it written that you also have to like them or what they do. So, stop falling for that trap. It is not bad manners nor is it bad behavior to not like someone or something they did, said, failed to say or failed to do. It is self-respect when you decide what others like or do not like about you is no longer going to affect you.

Then again, never forget: it is none of your business what they think of you or what you do.

It becomes a great benefit to both mind and body when you turn off the unneeded & unnecessary stress, at the root, is that you are no longer waiting for the acceptance and validation of others, that may or may never come.

Another thing to remember: You cannot change them, so don’t even think you can try. If you do, you will be right back to where you started and nothing good ever comes from trying to go backwards.

They don’t like you or what you are doing or who you are doing it with, well again, that’s on them.

Hey! Look over here!

Ready or not here is 2023 and by putting yourself in the right frame of mind and mindset you will be ready to accept the changes you want to make in 2023. Your ability to continually and consistently drive change in your life will be the force behind the success you achieve in the present and in the future. Of course, along the way you have to remember when it comes to achieving any kind of progress or success, it takes both mind and body to get your there. Act intentionally when it comes to putting yourself first and recognize that the word NO is also a complete sentence, whether they like it or not.

29 December 2022

TRANSPARENCY + FORTHCOMING = SELF-RESPECT - A BELL CURVE

This week’s BELL CURVE focuses on TRANSPARENCY + FORTHCOMING = SELF-RESPECT

There is a certain level of SELF-RESPECT one can achieve when they are Transparent and Forthcoming. This level of SELF-RESPECT comes for the ability of the individual not having to be a caretaker of their lies and who they told what.

The individual that is NOT transparent and NOT forthcoming is someone that honestly believes they are pulling the wool over someone’s eyes. They most certainly are not.

However, the individuals that have lower levels of SELF-RESPECT have it because they are VAIN. Vain in the sense that they honestly believe they can tell lies with impunity and actually people will believe them (without fail or question).

That vanity and ego will take those individuals only so far. Their lies and falsehoods will almost be exposed. Usually, the individual telling the lies is the one that exposes themselves. Either they forget the lies they tell or the forget who they tell and that leads to their downfall.

By ensuring that words like transparency and forthcoming mean more to the individual than some words you can find in the dictionary. By accepting that being transparent and forthcoming there is no need to come up with lies and then having to remember which lie you told and to whom.

Actively pursuing a life of transparency & being forthcoming increases your quality of life. It moves you from an average individual to someone that can be trusted to tell the truth, which is a must in living as an Above Average Life. It also, increases your level of SELF-RESPECT. Once you recognize that you no longer have to lie or mislead others, you will find that life becomes easier and you will work hard not to go back to that way of existing.

The last word: Waiting to be found out is NOT a good way to exist.

22 December 2022

BLAMING OTHERS & LEADERSHIP QUALITIES - A CHART

This week’s CHART focuses on BLAMING OTHERS & LEADERSHIP QUALITIES

***Please look at this week's chart very carefully as things may not appear as they seem.

Low value individuals are easy to spot. They are the ones that are always blaming others for their misery. They are the ones ready to throw anyone under the bus and they do so quite often. Most of the time they are ready throw hands they moment someone even thinks about blaming them for something they actually did.

While no one actually likes being blamed for anything even if they are responsible. However, when individuals refuse to accept blame and then immediately pass the blame onto others are individuals that are not ready to lead. Blaming others is a childish thing to do. As adults who see no issue or concern with blaming others do so only because they have never been held accountable for their actions and for their lack of action.

By working at reducing the blaming of others and increasing the level of accepting the blame for your actions and inactions you will be working at improving your self-worth, your self-esteem, and most of all, your ability to become a person with high morals and scruples. When you can only blame yourself when you must, then are you ready to lead others.

While it is easy to start and easy to keep doing blaming others when you should be accepting the blame will never get you to where you want to go.

Thank you,

David Guerra

P.S. I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

P.P.S. To order your copy of Great To Follow: Amazon paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble paperback
To order your copy of The Walking Leader: Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

15 December 2022

DOING WHAT YOU SAY - A BELL CURVE

This week's BELL CURVE focuses on DOING WHAT YOU SAYING, INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING WHAT YOU "WANT" TO DO.

It’s like another epidemic. People saying what they “need” to do but FAILING to actually do what they say.

It is understandable that LIFE occurs and sometimes plans change but not all the time.

People talk a good game. People will always talk a good game but they also fail to deliver. Sadly, they hold some belief that people will overlook their failure to deliver. Again, who cares what others think?

I know you don’t, you are too good for that. But, what about what you think about yourself?

What about what you think of yourself? Where is your self-respect, your dignity? Do you even have any self-respect?

You are the one saying the words and nothing is closer to your mouth than your ears. That means you hear what is coming out of your piehole.

As a leader of an organization or within a company or in the family structure all that everyone wants is for you to stop saying and start doing.

Folks, everyone is watching your actions especially if they are NOT in line with your words.

You want to lead? You want to be taken seriously? You want to succeed? If you answered YES to any of these three questions then you had better start doing what you say.

Once you start and see the success of starting, then you will be hooked and want to achieve more of what you say you will do. Before you know it, you will have a Higher-Than-Average life.

Simply put: ACTIONS NOT WORDS!

08 December 2022

THE VALUE YOU BRING OTHERS - A CHART

This week’s CHART focuses on THE VALUE YOU BRING OTHERS.

This week’s CHART focuses on THE VALUE YOU BRING OTHERS

I know, I know, it does not matter what others think of you.

I 100% agree with you.

As a CURRENT or FUTURE LEADER your values are what you project. Your values are what others see and judge you by as a someone that is leading others now or want to lead others.

Face it, YOU will ALWAYS be known by & judged by the values you live by, the value others see and NOT the values you say you live by.

If your value system is nothing but a heaping pile of sewage & waste, well don’t be surprised when others shun you. Aside from others with the value system of a cesspool, who would want to be near you let along want to be led by you, now or in the future?

By working to improve on yourself by holding yourself accountable and taking responsibility for your actions then can you begin to improve your value system. Again, failing to continue to take responsibility or refuse to hold yourself accountable, people will less and less value you as a leader. Please KNOW that as the value diminishes so will your recognized ability to lead.

Once others can no longer see value in you as a leader, manager, or anyone that can accept any level of responsibility, and to recover from that admonishment you may never recover the level you once thought you deserved.

Start taking responsibility for your actions. Begin holding yourself accountable.

The sooner the better and it is NEVER too late to start.

01 December 2022

EDUCATION. YOUR EDUCATION - A BELL CURVE

This week's BELL CURVE focuses on EDUCATION. YOUR EDUCATION.

It does not take having a PH.D. to know that without an ever-increasing level of education, you destined to remain right where you are. That is fine for some people but for those that bitch, whine, & moan about how they are not getting anywhere or believe they should be getting paid more for the limited level of responsibility they currently have, if any.

While LIFE is a great teacher, life experiences can only take you so far. Those individuals say life experience is all they need are right and wrong at the same time. If they let life happen to them and that is all, then what have they really learned. What did life really teach them?

This also applies to those the saying they went to the “school of hard knocks” and that is all the education they need. Well, don’t be surprise when you are NOT getting the pay you “feel” you deserve.

The School of Hard Knocks ONLY serves to show that for all the times you have been knocked down, you got back up. KUDOS!

However, the question that should be asked, but all too often is not: What did you learn from getting knocked down? Far too many people learn NOTHING from getting knocked. Sure, they get back up again but quickly forget what knocked them down so they, as expected, get knocked back down.

This is where increasing your level of formal education comes in handy. Educating yourself. Taking the initiative and understanding that there is more in cracking open a book on your own than in putting all your faith into the bare minimum you have put in and “truly” believing it will be more than enough to take you to where you want to be.

Oh, and for those that are dead set on thumping one book and saying that is the only book you need to read to learn about life. Well chances are that book was written about two thousand years ago. What does it serve today? Certainly, it offers ONE unique insight to ONE world view but what about all the other views and perspectives? How about expanding on what you have learned from that ONE book?

The same thing applies to expanding your vocational education. While some are happy being right where they are on the corporate ladder. There are others that REFUSE to remain on the lower rungs and in order to move the ladder they know building on and improving their level of education will make the journey to the top a little bit easier and faster but even then, the need to continue their education will never cease.

One thing I should clear up: Continuing your education does not have to be in a formal classroom setting, it does however involve you taking the initiative and doing something to make increasing your level of education happen.

You want success? Then that's all up to you to achieve it.

24 November 2022

About Creating Drama & Getting Caught - A Chart

Remember a couple of weeks back I talked about people creating drama, usually for their validation.

Another interesting observation that comes along with creating drama for the sake of creating drama.

Individuals, that create drama out of nothing usually do so without ever accepting any level of responsibility for that drama.

They will deny, point fingers, accuse others to the point that they will get physical in order to deflect the blame off of them even when they are caught red-handed.

These self-centered individuals will play a role of victim at the drop of a hat. These individuals cannot be reasoned with as they have no clue or idea on how to accept responsibility for their actions.

Be very careful when dealing with toxicity as they can quick turn on you which will ultimately turn to them being the victim making easier for them to NOT accept responsibility. They will never even dream about holding themselves accountable as they truly believe they have done nothing wrong and everyone is out to get them.

Proceed with caution when encountering this species.Thank you,

17 November 2022

High Quality Decision Making - A Bell Curve

We make decisions every day. Turn right, turn left. Drive fast, drive slowly. Say Yes or say no. No matter what we choose the decisions we make also have outcomes that are either expected or unexpected. They are right or they are wrong. However, once made and acted on a decision and its outcome can never be changed.

It is for that reason that every decision, no matter how mundane, must be made with above average quality. What does Above Average Quality mean? It means that with every decision we make those decisions with more than just a passing glance or quick overview. It must be done with a deeper understanding of the question and anticipating the various outcomes.

Making High Quality decisions does not guarantee that positive outcomes will occur. What it does guarantee is that you thought things through and in anticipating the possible outcomes you were prepared to deal with those unexpected issues.

The higher the quality decisions you make will make your life Above Average.

By continually, working on improving your decision-making skills you will maintain making high quality decisions. Stop or fail altogether, then you will get exactly what you deserve.

Folks, I am not kidding when I ask if you want a better life then you have no choice but to put in the work. Contrary to popular belief there are no short cuts to success.

10 November 2022

About Creating Drama - A Chart

Drama! Who doesn’t like drama? Everyone likes some drama. Everyone really likes drama when it involves other people. Sometimes, we even like a little drama in our own lives. It keeps life interesting.

What most people do NOT like is hearing about drama all the time. Seriously, that kind of nonsense is not healthy. It is not healthy in the sense that no one needs so much drama in their lives. It is not healthy in that the more drama is constantly being shared the more people will want to stop hearing about it.

They will also equate the individual sharing the drama of others as the kind of individual that is sharing their own life to others (drama or not). The scary part is that when no drama is available, these individuals will create drama only to validate their own existence.

Great Individuals, Great Leaders do not become Great because of the drama they create, especially when there is none to create.

Those individuals with the low standards and boundaries are the first ones to look at when drama is being created out of thin air. Through whatever misguided sense of having to make themselves the center of attention by sharing or creating any kind of drama are NOT a leader anyone wants to follow. Ultimately, they will become the individuals that no one will want to have around.

Again, you create what you make and you get what you give.

03 November 2022

Maintaining Above Average - A Bell Curve

Maintaining an Above Average level of Standards can either the most difficult thing you can do or the easiest thing to do.

Maintaining an Above Average level is most difficult when you lack the discipline, the commitment, the dedication, and most of all the SELF-RESPECT to move beyond what you know you must do.

Having the Self-Respect, Discipline, Dedication, and Commitment to do what has to be done becomes almost second nature.

Then once you move up to a higher level of standards, the same need remains for the discipline, dedication, commitment and most of all, Self-Respect. The need remains because as I continuously mention it is hard work to keep raising your standards.

The moment you slip and decide it is too difficult to keep putting in the work is the exact moment you fall back into your past and welcome with open arms all that has kept you down.

I am not here to tell you to get to work, but I am here to tell you, you get exactly what you put in.

27 October 2022

Standards & Boundaries - A Chart For You

Then comes setting your boundaries. Plain and simple if you have NO BOUNDARIES then that is just an open invitation to let anyone into your life. Most certainly, there is the possibility that High Quality individuals may enter your life but if you have little to no boundaries do not expect those High Quality People to stick around or arrive in herds. However, those that will arrive and stick around are those that with little to no boundaries themselves as well as little to no respect for themselves, let alone any respect for you.

Another certainty is that having few boundaries will certainly attract those individuals that will do everything they can to test your boundaries (at first) then abuse the fact that you have little to no boundaries. So, yes, they will use and abuse you because of your failure to make, identify, and maintain any type (or kind) of boundaries. That is because they are ONLY in it for themselves.

Set your Standards/Boundaries HIGH and the only people you will be attracting are those that also set HIGH BOUNDARIES for themselves and expect others to RESPECT those boundaries and standards, no questions asked because they are giving respect in the first place.

A reminder: To Raise Your Standards and Set Boundaries, they have to be permanent. For those of you that think it is cute to say your standards are higher than your heels. Your heels end at your ankle and that is STILL pretty low to the ground.

Lastly, when it comes to setting Boundaries & Standards, they cannot be in form of a band-aid because others expect it and all you want to do is half-ass it. Remember, Success NEVER comes from doing anything Half-Ass.

23 October 2022

About Hypocrisy in the Church (a Young Sheldon inspired post)

A couple of weeks ago I was watching the Season Premiere of one of the most entertaining television shows currently on the air. No, it wasn't the bachelor or the bachelorette. It is a comedy, a spinoff from the hit TV series Big Bang Theory. That's right I was watching YOUNG SHELDON.

In the season opener, there is a scene the Cooper family was at church with the pastor up at the pulpit preaching about love, understanding, and acceptance. Yet, throughout the service the members of the congregation were giving Sheldon's family the "side eye", "that look", and of course when the time came no one wanted to hold hands in prayer with them. Finally, Sheldon's mom said she had enough and left with kids in tow. In true Sheldon fashion, he walked back into the church and publicly called out the pastor's and the congregation's hypocrisy. Immediately, I turned to my wife and son and declared that hypocrisy is why I do not go to church.

Do not for one second get me wrong: I BELIEVE IN GOD.

I do not believe in the hypocrisy found in those "houses of worship" or the hypocrisy committed in the name of God.

God is SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. Then again, God does not need to make payroll.

I do not believe that another human being has any right to tell me that my marriage is not valid in the eyes of the church (Catholic church) or I am a BAD Christian because I attend church on the holidays or ignored and not welcomed by the "leader" because I am not a recognized VIP or I am not a paying (tithing) member of congregation.

Because of the lust for power and appeasement (needed to stay in power) and greed for money that naturally follows that lust for power is why I despise the hypocrisy that those religious institution breed. It is through the hypocrisy that is tacitly approved or created from the top down that creates more #hypocrites all in the name of God, your god. The God I know never equated hypocrisy with love and yet, fools in ignorant bliss continue to hear the twisted words from their so-called "leaders in the pulpit" and willfully spread their hatred, anger, and bigotry to have it to continue to grow across the congregation and generations. By across the generations I mean those that continue to subscribe to "that's the way we've always done it."

Before anyone goes off and starts with their nonsense of truly misguided and misplaced bravado by declaring "that is not happening in my church" well all I can say is that in EVERY church that I know of that is happening and while I am generalizing I challenge to peel back the layers and honestly tell me it is not happening to one degree or another.

I, without doubt, hesitation or reservation, believe that when it comes to hypocrisy in the church and within its congregation there are two types of people: Either you have your head buried so deep in the sand that you will take what they give you & how they give it to you with no questions asked OR you are right there in the middle of all the hypocrisy that you are too ashamed or you LACK the courage to stand up and with pride admit the truth.

I like my God right where he belongs: in my thoughts, in my words & in my deeds and when my time comes, I will only answer to that God.

It is NOT that I have left God, but it was through the actions, words, and deeds of other human beings that their god left me. For that I am truly thankful and grateful.

My name is David Guerra and I Thank you for your time.

= = = = = =

P.S. I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

P.P.S. To order your copy of Great To Follow: Amazon paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble paperback
To order your copy of The Walking Leader: Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

20 October 2022

The Average of Who You Hangout With - A Bell Curve

Did you know you become the average of the 5 people you hang out with?

If they are of below average quality, then guess what it is just a matter of time when you become below average.

Average quality individuals are the norm, the standard, the everyday, the common.

Be Above Average and hanging out and around Above Average will make you Above Average. However, as with anything else in life, you have to put in the work.

As always, if you are NOT willing to put in the work to be above average, then why both and enjoy your time being below average.

13 October 2022

The Higher, The Fewer - A Chart To Remember

When it comes to your quality of life there is one thing that is certain: YOU ATTRACT BASED ON HOW MUCH EFFORT YOU PUT IN TO YOURSELF.

Of course, you can say you have high standards, a high quality of living which is NOT a the same as a high quality of life.

So, stop kidding yourself know and accept the fact that if you keep living a life that is not set to a higher quality then you will only attract those individuals at the mediocre or medium-high quality and there are plenty of them.

The higher you set your quality of life, then the fewer, more select individuals will you attract. When their quality of life matters your level of a higher quality of life then you can connect a level that is refined and filtered instead of one that is just going through the motions and you find yourself complaining about your lack of ability to find higher quality individuals to connect with.

When it comes to connecting with others, YOU set the standard and you are the ONLY that allows those that are at or below the standard to enter your life.

28 August 2022

10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership (part 10/10)

#10 of the 10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership

LEADERSHIP MEANS MAKING NEW LEADERS

Welcome to the tenth and final installment of the 10 Things You Do Not Know About Leadership. In this weekly, series I cover topics that tend to be overlooked, forgotten, or completely misunderstood. By sharing with you, it is my hope and belief that I help in eradicating many of the misconceptions that come with leadership.

Did you know the true purpose of a leader is to make new leaders?

Again, let’s not confuse managers with leaders. They are two different iterations of the same individual.

I have always stood by this premise: Any leader can be a manager but NOT every manager can be a leader.

That’s why we have Great Leaders and bad managers. There is no such thing as a bad leader but there is such a thing as a great manager. See where I am going with this?

While bad managers should never even consider creating future bad managers, yet far too many are creating them right now as we speak. Good managers know to find those diamonds in the rough and help mold them into future good managers.

Unfortunately, I have seen this far too often and those bad managers will take under their wing the individuals that are, for lack of better terms, suck ups, kiss ass, the bully, the friend, friend of a friend or worse still a child of a friend thus perpetuating the continued growth and development of bad managers.

Try to prove me wrong and I bet you cannot.

Leaders this is where you have to step in. For the most part, good leaders know the difference between who can do the job and who can bully their way through the job.

Leaders of all types create leaders. I say this because to be a leader your followers recognize you as one. As it is your followers that make you the leader. It is your followers that will do and deliver what you ask of them.

It is also your followers that will promote you to others. It is through them promoting you that you will find new followers and future leaders.

As a current or future leader, it is through leading by example that you will gain the follower but it will also be how you create new leaders. In some cases, you will know that you are creating new leaders as those individuals will begin to emulate you. In other cases, their change from follower to new leader will be subtle. That change will be so subtle that you will not recognize it until after they have their own set of followers.

Always remember and never forget, all Leaders exists not to create more followers but to make leaders and that’s the bottom line.

The best and fastest way is to make future leaders is to be the best most authentic self you can be. This does not mean you have to be on your best behavior. Of course, we all know that being on your best behavior never works. It means that you have to be true to yourself 100% of the time. People will appreciate the individual that pulls no punches. The individual that is not afraid to question you or call anyone out on their bullshit.

Leaders, you will face many challenges over the course of your life. Remember as the song I DON’T WANT YOUR LOVE by Duran Duran says “I cannot sit down, I can't shut my mouth but when you understand me, you might feel good around me, now back it up!”

Thus, it is through remaining TRUE to yourself that others will recognize, gain a deeper understanding, and gravitate towards you. Then they will want to be like you. Of course, for any number of reasons those that follow you will want to step up and take the challenge of becoming a leader.

When it comes to making, creating, inspiring, empowering, and encouraging new future leader, current leaders you join that elite group of leaders, of Great Leaders that include the likes of General George Patton, President George Washington, Prime Minister Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King, and other such individuals.

You join their ranks because you are creating new leaders.

Now is the time…Now Is The Time To Get To Work!

Visit my website (daveguerra.com) to view this entry with its accompanying Audio/Visual media options.

Be sure to subscribe to get the next entry delivered to you via email.

Until Next Week, I Thank you.

21 August 2022

10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership (part 9/10)

#9 of the 10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership

LEADERSHIP IS LONELY

Welcome to the ninth installment of the 10 Things You Do Not Know About Leadership. In this weekly, series I cover topics that tend to be overlooked, forgotten, or completely misunderstood. By sharing with you, it is my hope and belief that I help in eradicating many of the misconceptions that come with leadership.

Even the most popular of all great leaders were some of the loneliest people ever. To the outsiders it might seem like a popularity contest but only those in it to look good or go through the motions may be popular but most will never become GREAT LEADERS.

Greatness comes at a price. A price far too many are not prepared to pay.

As the song LIMELIGHT by RUSH goes “Cast in this unlikely role, Ill-equipped to act with insufficient tact. One must put up barriers to keep oneself intact.”

It can be difficult to always be in the limelight.

Those barriers the song refers to are there to protect the leader and strict adherence in order keep the sanity of all involved in check. Ensuring separation between the personal and professional lives is also maintained.

As maintaining separation can tag you as someone that is not understood, as you never imitate others. As you are not mimicking others because you prefer to blaze your own trail a s opposed to following someone who is also following someone else. Where’s the fun in that? Blaze your own trail, cut your own path, be the point man and get out there.

Again, when it comes to blazing your own trail, cutting your own path, being the point man, you are out in front. There is no one else in front of you. Remember, if there was someone in front of you then you are NOT leading but instead following.

Remember when it comes to leadership being lonely, comes from not being easily understood. People that are not ready to lead or be led will find those that are ready to lead or are already leading others a bit difficult to understand and follow.

Leaders, current and future, please keep in mind that their inability to understand you is not your fault, that is on them. But, know that you are going to have your work cut out for your and that is to be expected because as a leader's job is never done.

Let me break it down. You work for an organization and there is a new manager coming on board of course, anyone new will bring their own ideas and concepts to the new job. As expected, those that have been with the company a while, usually are a hesitant to change. Thus, their defenses are up and their “go-to” is that they cannot understand you and what you are trying to do. So, the leader gets isolated. While it is not a good thing when it happens, it happens nonetheless.

Because you are unique & you never imitate others will find it difficult to associate you with someone or something familiar to them.

Leaders are a different breed of individuals; they are not afraid to be alone when it comes to leading. They understand that while the mission must be accomplished and goals must be set, they also know that nothing should get in the way of doing what must be done.

Therefore, when leaders are doing their thing, others will find it different and will tend to give those leaders the space and time whether they need it or not. However, the difference is what will lead to the leader’s isolation whether imposed by others or self-imposed by the leader.

Another sad reality is that while people will come to you for advice, arbitration, problem solving, or as a sounding board they seldom include you.

While they recognize you as an authority figure, as a subject matter expert they do so at a level that makes them think twice about including you in their social situations, gatherings, and other such events that are outside of the organization.

That’s alright. As a Leader, you should never put yourself in a position where you can take from the people you are leading. This means never letting your followers get into any situation where they owe you.

As a leader, they have to look to you without any hesitation or reservation. You are the first person they turn to in times of trouble, crisis or concern.

Yet, when a leader crosses the very fine line that separates leaders from followers then all the confidence and support for that leader goes out the window. I have seen many leaders become bad managers when they crossed that line only to find themselves with more “friends” than actual followers.

It is for that reason, that all the great leaders have to keep a tight rein on what influences them and also who they can and cannot influence. In an age where have hundreds and thousands of followers is all the rage, but how much direct impact do leaders have on those in that circle of concern?

To be honest, little to none. So, those things that impact our lives are much smaller than the circle of SOCIAL INFLUENCE.

The things that impact our lives and the lives of others are in the circle of concern and that circle is small and intentionally kept small.

You do a good job of separating yourself from those you lead. My circle of concern is what impacts me the most and that circle is so very small. That circle of concern includes 12 people. My wife, my children, my mother, my brothers, and my in-laws, plus two of the greatest friends I have. Two of the longest lasting friendships I have ever had and that has lasted over 35 years. Yes, just two friends. Two Army buddies.

Everyone else sits somewhere inside that shrinking and ever fading circle of influence. Because, leaders want to lead others, especially in the good times and of course, in the bad times. Any leader worth their salt will ensure that the separation between influence and concern stays in place.

Ensure that fine line is not only visible but reinforced and reminded constantly and consistently both on and off duty. Ensure that you do give a little but do not overdo it, enjoy a little recreation time with them but do not let it get out of hand.

For example, once a quarter go out with the team where the first round is on you and then leave. Once a year, have a holiday gathering but then leave. Being a leader is a lonely position but sharing a laugh, a pint, or breaking bread outside of the office makes it bearable and of course helps set the boundaries.

Always remember and never forget that because you chose to lead them and they made you their leader then give them the respect they deserve even if it means there will be times that you are lonely but also remember, with followers you are never alone.

Visit my website (daveguerra.com) to view this entry with its accompanying Audio/Visual media options.

Be sure to subscribe to get the next entry delivered to you via email.

Until Next Week, I Thank you.

14 August 2022

10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership (part 8/10)

#8 of the 10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership

LEADERSHIP INVOLVES GETTING INVOLVED

Welcome to the eighth installment of the 10 Things You Do Not Know About Leadership. In this weekly, series I cover topics that tend to be overlooked, forgotten, or completely misunderstood. By sharing with you, it is my hope and belief that I help in eradicating many of the misconceptions that come with leadership.

As I mentioned in the last blog post and video, those you lead want to know you are there. They want to know you are present and approachable. I also mentioned that while you are out there, out on the frontlines you must be doing something more than taking up space, breathing the oxygen of others, or out there to confirm your status as figurehead.

LEADERS ARE NOT FIGUREHEADS. A true Leader would never dream about being a “figurehead”. Genuine & Authentic Leaders are way beyond all that. Figureheads have never been nor will they ever be leaders by any sense of the word.

Leaders rise above being FIGUREHEADS by getting involved. Figureheads that stand around taking up space and using up all the oxygen are for all intents and purposes: USELESS!

Leaders never have to ask what to do. Leaders step in and say, “here, let me help.” Figureheads haven’t a clue and for that reason, when it comes time to be a leader a figurehead sits there wondering what the heck is going on and hopes that someone else, someone at a lower paygrade will know what to do.

Think I am kidding?

You know very damn well I am not kidding.

Leaders that get involved do so not out of a sense of “looking the part” or “playing the role”. Leaders that get involved do so because of sense of obligation not only to themselves but to the people they lead. The obligation to those they lead comes from leaders reminding themselves where they come from. They Remind themselves that they started off out in the trenches, out on the frontlines. They remember that it was difficult, hard, and lonely when they were starting off.

Again, that sense of obligation comes from experiencing life working for bad managers as well as great managers. Working in organizations that cared only about the preservation of those at the top and vowing that if they were ever in a position to do something about it, they would make change happen for the better. Now current and future leaders your opportunity to make good on that vow is here.

Leaders that get involved, especially when they are so high up the organizational tree know they do not have to get involved but know that is why they have to get involved. Leaders on the lower levels of the organization, this is the time to start. It is the time to getting involved now as it will make it easier to continue to get involved as you move up the ranks.

The opposite is true for those that do not get involved and expect followers (aka figureheads). They get exactly what they deserve and that is nothing. They give nothing so they get nothing. But there is a very sad component to all this. For those that give nothing and get nothing for some odd reason expect something. They do not get it and they never will.

So, how does one get involved? Simple, YOU get back into the trenches. You dive in and get in there. Never be invited into the trenches. Never be afraid to get back into the trenches.

Never be afraid to get involved. How does one get involved? Remember, it is not about asking how to get involved. You jump in and start doing. If you have to ask, are you sure you are a leader better yet, are you certain you are ready to lead?

Yet, if you are still uncertain on what to do, well there is always the basics. Get involved by starting with the basics. I promise you there is always a need for someone to do the basics: Chop Wood – Carry Water – Dig Foxholes – Fill Sandbags.

Of course, these are metaphorical substitutes for the basics in your chosen field or vocation. Each vocation or career field has its own set of unique basics. Basics can and should be mastered and kept honed and sharpened constantly and consistently.

Take the following with you as you get ready to get out there: Getting involved should never seem like much to you but to your followers it means everything.

Visit my website (daveguerra.com) to view this entry with its accompanying Audio/Visual media options.

Be sure to subscribe to get the next entry delivered to you via email.

Until Next Week, I Thank you.

07 August 2022

10 Things You Do Not Know About Leadership (part 7/10)

#7 of the 10 Things You Did Not Know About Leadership

LEADERSHIP INVOLVES GETTING OUT THERE

Welcome to the seventh installment of the 10 Things You Do Not Know About Leadership. In this weekly, series I cover topics that tend to be overlooked, forgotten, or completely misunderstood. By sharing with you, it is my hope and belief that I help in eradicating many of the misconceptions that come with leadership.

In case no one ever told you or no one before you ever knew, trust me when I say: No Leader ever became a GREAT LEADER by sitting behind a desk.

Also, no Great Leader ever became great by dictating from behind their desk in the comfort of their office.

Well, I am lying, a bit. In the case of Napoleon Bonaparte, General George Patton, and other such Great Leaders of that caliber did become great by leading from behind their desk and in the comfort of their office. Their desk happened to be atop a horse, a tank, in a foxhole and their office was the battlefield, with a business address that’s on a street called, “THE FRONT LINES”. These leaders were fortunate enough to be out there where the bullets were flying. They were the ones that were leading others not only into battle but onto victory and ultimately into the history books.

While the goal of any leader is not to make history the goal is to make more leaders. The primary goal of any leader is to make more leaders, make better leaders. Making more leaders is ONLY done not by dictating but by leading by example.

How does one make leaders by leading by example? What is the example to lead by? The example is simple: Get out there and be visible. Be highly visible. Get into the trenches, the foxholes, troop the line and everything else that comes with getting out there and being visible.

However, standing around, taking up space and breathing everyone else’s oxygen is NOT what getting out there and being visible is all about. It is about ensuring the people not only see you out there but know that you are out there with them and among them. Be visible constantly, consistently and most of all, be approachable.

Get out from behind your desk, out of your office and get into the thick of it. Help out when you can, do more than is expected and always find ways to do more for those that are out on the frontlines, fighting the good fight. It is your job to do more than just shake hands, kiss babies and smile.

It is your job to get to know the people that you are there to support. Remember, it is your job to ensure that they can do their job effectively and efficiently. You are there to support them in every way possible. It is not and never will be the other way around. You hired them to do a job, then let them do that job by you going out there and ensuring they know how to do the job, have the right tools to do it and know that they have your support in doing that job.

Do not for one second, let it enter your mind that they are there for you. That is not an automatic. What is automatic is that you know as a leader you are there to support those you lead. Remember, your followers made you the leader, they can take that away. Also never forget those that hired you, those that brought in, did so with the understanding, you may the title of manager but you were never given the title of leader. That title you have to earn and you have to earn it each and every day.

You earn it, by taking care of those that made you the leader. You earn it, every day that you are present, available, and out on the front lines. There is no short cut, there is no cutting corners. What there is, is you being visible, present, and with them with the sole purpose to support and lead them.

That being said, please know that those you lead, those that follow you will be there for you only after you have shown them that you are there for them, first and foremost. Never ever forget that. If you do forget that, you do so at your own peril.

Now, get out, shake hands, kiss babies, smile, say hello. I do hope you know what I mean. Get out there every day that you can. Be out there in the muck and the mud. Be there with them and for them. When you cannot be out there, make absolutely certain they know where you are, how they can get ahold of you, and most of all, when you will be back.

Yes, they do deserve that much and so much more.

Visit my website (daveguerra.com) to view this entry with its accompanying Audio/Visual media options.

Be sure to subscribe to get the next entry delivered to you via email.

Until Next Week, I Thank you.

David Guerra, MBA

P.S. I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

P.P.S. To order your copy of Great To Follow: Amazon paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble paperback
To order your copy of The Walking Leader: Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble