When You Can't Say NO, What Is The Opposite Of Yes?

Have you ever been in a situation or asked to do something that you don't really want to do and you hesitate, flinch and say "YES" but deep down you know you want to say NO!!!

Every nerve and fiber of your being is SCREAMING at you to say NO!!!

But you do the opposite and say, "Yes" (and paint on something that half way passes for a smile on your face).

What do you do? You have to do it or be considered someone who does not keep their word or wishy-washy or worse still "passive-aggressive".

I once knew someone who had everything going for him in life. A wonderful career, a wonderful family, and above all, he had a wonderful support system in those friends and family that thought the world of him. But there was one flaw that no matter how hard he tried he could not hide. That flaw was his inability to say, No.

He would say Yes to many things that people asked of him to do and at first he would do what was asked of him. But as time went on he would be a "no-call, no-show" or feign and give the old faithful answer of "oh, was it yesterday?" and expect that everything would be alright. Well it wasn't.

Still my friend never caught on and that was starting to strain relationships. You could say it was getting harder and harder to be around my friend as people were getting tired of his half-hearted approach to following through with the expectations he was leaving people with.

At one point people stopped asking my friend for anything, as they knew what the answer was and what the result was going to be.

Then finally my friend reached out and needed something done. Well here was time for payback, give him a dose of his own medicine, he was going to get what was finally coming to him, as it was long overdue. Someone told him Yes they would do what he asked. When the big moment came the person that said Yes to my friend actually came through and completed the requested task.

At some point after the task was complete, may be it was guilt or naivety but my friend asked that person why did you help me?
The person replied, “Because you asked and I said Yes.”
"Oh...I thought you weren't going to show" was my friend's response.
"Why? Because you say Yes and don't show?"
"Yes"
Seizing the moment the person then asked, "Why do you say Yes when you really want to say No?"
My friend responded, "Because I want people to like me"

Just as the last word came from my friend's mouth, it was like you could see the light bulb turn on over my friend's head (he finally got it).

So remember, when you can't say NO, the Opposite of Yes will always be NO!

You are a big boy/girl and it is perfectly fine to say NO! People will certainly respect a person more that way than someone who is wishy-washy. People who respect you know that you respect them and that is certainly the best way to get and keep more true friends around for a very long time.

Something else to think about: Those people that don’t want to hear a NO from you are the exact same people that will tell you NO the moment you really need something from them.

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