Every Tuesday evening at 8pm eastern, the #DareToBe tweetchat takes place on Twitter. The #DareToBe tweetchat is hosted by Andrea Sanchez (@asanchez16), an Editor, Writer, Communications Executive.
Every week a different topic. On the evening of August 4, 2015, the topic was How to Stop Excuses. I could not capture all the twitter based answers to the 10 questions asked by @ASanchez16. However, I present the questions and my answers (with a bit of amplification). Please enjoy and if you can, please joins us. Look for the #DareToBe hashtag every Tuesday evening.
How to Stop Excuses
Q1: Excuses: What are they? #DareToBe
My answer: Excuses are those things we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better.
Over the years, I have learned excuses serve no purpose for anyone and if it makes the author of these excuses feel better then more power to them. Otherwise, why even bother with the excuses.
Q2: ____________ causes people to make excuses. #DareToBe
My answer: Lack of self-confidence causes people to make excuses.
Seriously, why would anyone with even an ounce of self-confidence need to make an excuse? That is why it is important to develop self-confidence (the sooner, the better). Not only will you stop making excuses but others will stop having to deal with those excuses.
Q3: Give an example of a unique excuse you have heard. #DareToBe
My answer: Not wanting to work, a co-worker said he lost the key to his office. Let's say he didn't last very long.
I have heard so many excuses in my adult working life and just when I think I have heard them all, a new one comes rolling along. Don't get me started about the employee who used their gender specific situations to not come to work. I am NOT an OB-GYN nor do I play one on TV, the use of such excuse baffles me. For one, it is TMI plain and simple. How can anyone argue against the use of that excuse without coming across like a complete cad or chauvinist? If someone can help me with this please let me know.
Q4: “Excuses are for people who don’t want it bad enough.” Agree/Disagree? Explain. #DareToBe
My answer: Disagree. Those that don't want it bad enough usually show they don't want it. No amount of excuses will ever hide that fact.
There is nothing that can hide the fact that when someone does not want to do anything they don't want to do it will show on their face, their attitude, their words, their motions. Try as hard as they want, the excuses they give will not cover what they are already showing the world.
Q5: Why do excuses generally have a negative connotation? #DareToBe
My answer: Excuses are the epitome of negativity. They signify the lengths people will go to to not do something.
The use of excuses comes naturally to some individuals. Those individuals are the ones that would rather sit and complain as opposed to getting up off their backside and make something good happen. They enjoy making others feel miserable but are also the first ones to get offended when they are called on the negativity they exude and the excuses they make.
Q6: Is there such thing as a good excuse? Explain. #DareToBe
My Answer: Good excuses are BIRTH, DEATH, SUDDEN ILLNESS. However, I would be suspect if all happen at same time (i.e., Klinger on MASH)
In the modern workplace (just like in the combat zone that MASH was set in) there is absolutely no time for excuses. Things move pretty fast and if you keep up, maybe you don't belong in the organization. However, there were times when things happen and there are only three acceptable forms of excuse. Anything else is pure nonsense and should be avoided if for no other reason than for the shame you are creating for yourself. Seriously, you are an adult and the time to start acting like one was yesterday.
Q7: How are the excuses we make harmful to ourselves and/or others? #DareToBe
My Answer: They tend to let people down and that hurts relationships. Relationships are always fragile especially when excuses are made.
Relationships in personal or business life are essential to our very existence. Everything we are is because of a relationship. Think about it, our parents had a relationship and here we are. The organization we work for has a relationship with its stakeholders and here we work. Making excuses in any relationship is not a good way to sustain a relationship. What would have happened if Mom made and excuse, thus we would not be here. What if the company made excuses to the customer? We would not be working here. Think about it.
Q8: Give an example of an overused excuse in the workplace. How does it make you feel? #DareToBe
My Answer: The old "Sorry I was late..." excuse is like fingernails on the blackboard.
I have been guilty of running late and in my younger days I have been guilty of saying this with some lame reason behind it. Usually, it was just me making myself late. Now, I don't deliver any excuse but if I am pressed I say the truth like I made myself late by watching an additional news segment on TV. As I have been there I tell my staff to tell me the truth but I still get the traffic was terrible or there as an accident that backed up traffic and the worse one is "my mom took my car." Really? Your mother took your car!
Q9: When tempted to make an excuse, what is one question to ask yourself to avoid the excuses trap? #DareToBe
My Answer: Why bother with the excuse? Step Up!
Now as I have matured and grown up I find myself tempted less and less to make an excuse. It seems that people have come to expect me to tell the truth. Even when they find my truth a little difficult to swallow, my response is, "What have I got to gain by lying to you?" Should I lie, I gain nothing but lose everything I have spent all my time and effort building.
Q10: By refusing to make excuses and embracing responsibility we ________________. #DareToBe
My Answer: By refusing to make excuses and embracing responsibility we become a better person. That's a very good thing.
Becoming a better person is what everyone should strive for. If not us, then who?
Q11: Tomorrow, I will dare to stop making excuses by ____________________. #daretobe
My Answer: Tomorrow, I will dare to stop making excuses by just stop making excuses.
Just stop and that means you, too!
Thank you,
David Guerra
I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com
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