Twitter #LeadWithGiants Tweet Chat: Leading Difficult People (Monday, August 17, 2015)

At 7PM Eastern every Monday evening the #LeadWithGiants tweetchat occurs on Twitter.

Every week a different topic. On the evening of August 17, 2015, the topic was Leading Difficult People.

I present the questions and  my answers and a little bit more. Please enjoy.
If you can, please joins us next week. Look for the #LeadWithGiants hashtag every Monday evening (and throughout the week) or follow @LeadWithGiants on twitter to get the questions..

Leading Difficult People


Q1. How would you describe a difficult person? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: I would describe a difficult person as someone that is not 100% aligned with what is going on in the organization or personal life.
To be a bit clearer, a difficult person is someone that either does not want to be a positive participant in what the group, section, team, department or organization is doing as part of doing business.

Q2 What is your greatest challenge in leading difficult people? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Greatest challenge is maintaining dialogue while avoid the trap that is their monologue.
When it comes to leading difficult people the trick is to keep them and everyone else on the team focused. Keeping everyone focused is made even more difficult when difficult individuals want their story to be the only story to be told. A leader’s work is hard enough without having to deal with the negativity. However, a great leader will work through the problems and do everything she can do to keep everyone focused.

Q3. Describe a time where you successfully/unsuccessfully dealt with a difficult person. #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: First time leading soldiers in the Army. It is like a rite of passage for them to be difficult.
Yes, all first time leaders will be tested. They must be tested all the time. Testing is how leaders become good and how good leaders become great! The sooner a leader deals with a difficult person (or people) the sooner he can begin down the path to leadership greatness.

Q4 How have you seen a difficult person disrupt a team or group? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: When the elements are not cooperating, the situation is SNAFU, one bad apple can morale hit rock bottom very fast.
When the situation is less than favorable and the team is already, teetering on the brink of complete shut down all it takes is one negative comment from the most difficult/negative person on the team to bring morale down. That’s why as a leader it behooves you to constantly maintain a level of professionalism and consistently apply morale boosting techniques to avoid any undermining by those difficult individuals.

Q5. How do you get a difficult person to change? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Training to fill in knowledge gaps, Make individual responsible for part of the results, work with them or cut them loose.
As a leader there is only so much you can do to motivate anyone. Difficult people typically feel underappreciated and may just need a little boost or opportunity to have them show their stuff. However, when they don’t have what it takes or flat out refuse to become active, positive members of the group well of course it may be time to cut the line and set them adrift (hopefully, into the sea of their own misery).

Q6. Can a difficult person actually be good for the team? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Yes, they can motivate in reverse. Do good just to put the difficult person in his place.
By having the team work together and complete the assigned task the difficult person gets what he or she was NOT expecting. The team used the negativity against that individual to not only motivate themselves but to drive the difficult person back to his/her dark place (until the next project comes along).

Q7. Why are some people difficult to work with? Where does it originate? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Some feel that based on tenure, education, or their own ego that they can do better than who is actually in charge and resentment begins.
Many individuals believe because they have the education they deserve to be leaders. When they do not get their way they start to resent the leaders that are deserving of the title of leader. See, going to school or staying with an organization for a long time does NOT automatically make anyone a leader. It is what those individuals do with their education or tenure that makes them the real leaders. There is NOTHING automatically given for getting a Bachelor’s Degree or outlasting your co-workers, it has to be earned, especially the title of Leader.

Q8 Why is “avoidance” a poor choice in dealing with a difficult person? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: The problem person will only be encouraged because others will avoid the problem. Nip it in the bud! Nip it!
When problems are set aside or ignored, outright that is when the real trouble begins. Therefore, the sooner a problem is addressed, the sooner it can go away and never be dealt with again. It is better for the future of the leader, the difficult person, and the team when problems are handled effectively and expediently.

Q9 When the Leader is the difficult person, what then? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: That is when other leaders MUST step in and handle the situation or risk complete leadership failure.
All the leaders in the organization are there for each other. That’s what being a leader is all about; to make things better for everyone. When one has a problem, it is the duty of all the other leaders to step in and help correct the situation. When they don’t step up and step in is when bigger problems occur and that is not a good thing for anyone.

Q10. If the entire team is difficult to work with, what might be the problem? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Lack of top-down communication, which did not create a buy-in by the stakeholders. Communication is king! 
The leader must ensure that communication is flowing in both directions to ensure that everyone understands what the situation is, what it isn’t, what must happen, and most importantly, who is going to do what. I understand it sounds that simple but it is harder than it looks. However, that should not discourage anyone from trying especially any leader worth his weight in salt.


Thank you,
David Guerra

I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

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In the morning, do you wake up to "pursue shareholder value or

In the morning, do you wake up to "pursue shareholder value or exceed customer expectations..."? And is that (or something similar) your reasons for getting up?

If you say Yes, then something might not be right. I don't know of anyone that has that kind of attitude or purpose. Those that do might just be kidding themselves. Anne Deering puts it best when she wrote, and as well as mentioned in the book Be-Know-Do, "Our personal identity and purpose cannot reside in this type of objective...We need to dig deeper to find what truly drives us--our calling in life--and then translate this calling back to into our work context."

So what does all this mean? It means that if you have priorities that are about the job and not inclusive of yourself or your family then there is fundamentally something wrong. Now I am not pointing fingers nor am I passing judgment but what I am doing is stating a fact. A fact that declares that in order to be good to anyone or anything else you have to be good to yourself.

Let me clarify, many years ago I along with a few other people were asked to make a list of those people and things that were important to me. Each of the other people, at the top of their list, placed their Family and their God or vice-versa. Then it was my turn to announce my list. I started off with, that while I do agree that family and faith should be at the top of any list, I have someone different in my top spot: Me.

I got the most puzzling looks, but as I continued with my reasoning their looks of puzzlement turned to looks of understanding. I said that in order to provide my family with the best that I can and also to be a good [[enter religion here]] I have to make sure that I take care of myself otherwise if I fail to provide for myself first then I will fail to provide for anyone. So as conceded as it may sound I must take care of myself first. This is where Self-Discipline comes into play.

After all it is Self-Discipline that set people apart from one another. Self-discipline is "the training that one gives one's self to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behaviour, even though one would really rather be doing something else."

Going back to my military days, self-discipline was what kept us going when we were cold, wet, and tired. While others would have given up because it was too cold or too wet or too late in the evening, we dug deep inside ourselves and pressed on, not because we were the only ones who could do the job. It was because we took the initiative and had the self-discipline to continue when all others would have quit.

So what is your reason for getting up in the morning?

Something for you: Check out this vid on Discipline/Self-Discipline. Though the video has plenty of Football references, it's brief enough to define the need for discipline and even though it has Coach Bill Parcells and Irving Fryar, don't let that distract you from the message. As for the Cat's In The Cradle song reference at the end, well there is nothing I can do about that ;)


tags: Dave Guerra, Anne Deering, self discipline, Be Know Do, Leadership