Twitter #LeadWithGiants Tweet Chat: Leading Difficult People (Monday, August 17, 2015)

At 7PM Eastern every Monday evening the #LeadWithGiants tweetchat occurs on Twitter.

Every week a different topic. On the evening of August 17, 2015, the topic was Leading Difficult People.

I present the questions and  my answers and a little bit more. Please enjoy.
If you can, please joins us next week. Look for the #LeadWithGiants hashtag every Monday evening (and throughout the week) or follow @LeadWithGiants on twitter to get the questions..

Leading Difficult People


Q1. How would you describe a difficult person? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: I would describe a difficult person as someone that is not 100% aligned with what is going on in the organization or personal life.
To be a bit clearer, a difficult person is someone that either does not want to be a positive participant in what the group, section, team, department or organization is doing as part of doing business.

Q2 What is your greatest challenge in leading difficult people? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Greatest challenge is maintaining dialogue while avoid the trap that is their monologue.
When it comes to leading difficult people the trick is to keep them and everyone else on the team focused. Keeping everyone focused is made even more difficult when difficult individuals want their story to be the only story to be told. A leader’s work is hard enough without having to deal with the negativity. However, a great leader will work through the problems and do everything she can do to keep everyone focused.

Q3. Describe a time where you successfully/unsuccessfully dealt with a difficult person. #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: First time leading soldiers in the Army. It is like a rite of passage for them to be difficult.
Yes, all first time leaders will be tested. They must be tested all the time. Testing is how leaders become good and how good leaders become great! The sooner a leader deals with a difficult person (or people) the sooner he can begin down the path to leadership greatness.

Q4 How have you seen a difficult person disrupt a team or group? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: When the elements are not cooperating, the situation is SNAFU, one bad apple can morale hit rock bottom very fast.
When the situation is less than favorable and the team is already, teetering on the brink of complete shut down all it takes is one negative comment from the most difficult/negative person on the team to bring morale down. That’s why as a leader it behooves you to constantly maintain a level of professionalism and consistently apply morale boosting techniques to avoid any undermining by those difficult individuals.

Q5. How do you get a difficult person to change? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Training to fill in knowledge gaps, Make individual responsible for part of the results, work with them or cut them loose.
As a leader there is only so much you can do to motivate anyone. Difficult people typically feel underappreciated and may just need a little boost or opportunity to have them show their stuff. However, when they don’t have what it takes or flat out refuse to become active, positive members of the group well of course it may be time to cut the line and set them adrift (hopefully, into the sea of their own misery).

Q6. Can a difficult person actually be good for the team? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Yes, they can motivate in reverse. Do good just to put the difficult person in his place.
By having the team work together and complete the assigned task the difficult person gets what he or she was NOT expecting. The team used the negativity against that individual to not only motivate themselves but to drive the difficult person back to his/her dark place (until the next project comes along).

Q7. Why are some people difficult to work with? Where does it originate? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Some feel that based on tenure, education, or their own ego that they can do better than who is actually in charge and resentment begins.
Many individuals believe because they have the education they deserve to be leaders. When they do not get their way they start to resent the leaders that are deserving of the title of leader. See, going to school or staying with an organization for a long time does NOT automatically make anyone a leader. It is what those individuals do with their education or tenure that makes them the real leaders. There is NOTHING automatically given for getting a Bachelor’s Degree or outlasting your co-workers, it has to be earned, especially the title of Leader.

Q8 Why is “avoidance” a poor choice in dealing with a difficult person? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: The problem person will only be encouraged because others will avoid the problem. Nip it in the bud! Nip it!
When problems are set aside or ignored, outright that is when the real trouble begins. Therefore, the sooner a problem is addressed, the sooner it can go away and never be dealt with again. It is better for the future of the leader, the difficult person, and the team when problems are handled effectively and expediently.

Q9 When the Leader is the difficult person, what then? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: That is when other leaders MUST step in and handle the situation or risk complete leadership failure.
All the leaders in the organization are there for each other. That’s what being a leader is all about; to make things better for everyone. When one has a problem, it is the duty of all the other leaders to step in and help correct the situation. When they don’t step up and step in is when bigger problems occur and that is not a good thing for anyone.

Q10. If the entire team is difficult to work with, what might be the problem? #LeadWithGiants
My Answer: Lack of top-down communication, which did not create a buy-in by the stakeholders. Communication is king! 
The leader must ensure that communication is flowing in both directions to ensure that everyone understands what the situation is, what it isn’t, what must happen, and most importantly, who is going to do what. I understand it sounds that simple but it is harder than it looks. However, that should not discourage anyone from trying especially any leader worth his weight in salt.


Thank you,
David Guerra

I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra • visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of Great To Follow: Amazon paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble paperback
To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Tags: Tags: • The Walking Leader • Great To Follow • ###### • ##### • ##### • ##### • Leadership • Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero

THE MIDDAY NUGGET: Ethics of the Business Owner

This one I have been thinking about for quite a long time. It is the ethics of being a business owner. There are some that get it and do the right thing all the time. Then there are some that get it and do the right thing some of the time. There are others that get it but do not do the right thing any of that time. Then, there are those that do not get it and do not do it any of that time.

For this midday nugget, I am talking about everyone, except for those that get it and do it right all the time. Because they know and they truly understand what it takes to be an ethical business owner. Everybody else there is no excuse.

What I am about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth.

Behind the building, that I work in is another building. Between both buildings is an alley. One afternoon I was walking from my building to the other building, which happens to be one of those small post office type shops. You know, the kind that you can walk up to buy stamps mail something, and it also has about eight or nine separate offices within that building that the owner leases out to various small businesses. I was on my way up to buy some postage stamps and as I crossed the alleyway, I saw somebody filling up one of those blue 5-gallon water cooler containers. Big deal right? There was no big deal if the guy was using his own water faucet but he was using my water faucet. That's right, the owner of the building behind my building was using my water faucet to fill up his 5-gallon water cooler container.

I stopped and looked this older man right in the eye and asked, "What are you doing?"

He said, “Nothing."

Expecting me to ignore what he was doing. I did not ignore it. I stood there and look at him and watch them until the finish filling his 5-gallon container of water, shut off my faucet, and return back to his building.

I just could not believe that this guy was blatantly stealing from me and really expected me to ignore it.

Now, as I am writing this the anger returns. I know it should not as this happened about 8 months ago but it still bothers me. It bothers me so much that I am writing this blog post now, all this time later.

What makes it worse is that this guy sells insurance, annuities, and financial packages to regular everyday people. These people come to him with the expectation that they can trust him to do the right thing by them.

Aside from owning the building, this individual also owns the post office contract and the service provided. He has done well for himself. However, after getting that response from him, I have to wonder at what cost? What or who did he sell out to get to where he is at? Who suffered so that he could be where he's at? Who was thrown under the bus and how often so that this individual could feel no shame, have no problem, and could care less about crossing the alley and taking water from someone else's faucet.

Now, I understand there are some that will say what’s 5 gallons? After all, isn't that the neighborly thing to do?

You are correct, what is 5 gallons? It’s just 5 gallons of water and it is the neighborly thing to do if he had ONLY bothered to come and ask for permission! He did not. That is certainly NOT neighborly.

He took it upon himself to do what he wanted to do and he did it.

Everyone, the take away here is to NOT be that guy because you will be caught! Do not try to cut corners because the corner is there for a reason. You are supposed to go all the way to the end and then turn. You cut corners and somebody is shortchanged. When you cut corners, you are cheating.

Since that day, eight months ago, the individual has yet to look me in the eye. I can only suspect that it is because he knows that I know who he is, what he is, and what he did. I can only imagine how long he had been taking the water without so much as asking. For the three years, I was there prior to this incident, he never asked for permission to use the water faucet to fill up his water cooler bottle. The water cooler bottle that his employees drink water from. I am not saying that tap water is bad but I am saying is that it came from an outside faucet. You tell me, who got shortchanged on that one? I wonder if the employees know where their water cooler water came from?

How do you think you would feel if you found out your boss was making you drink from the water cooler that he filled with tap water from the neighbor's alley water faucet? and did so without asking for permission.


Thanks for your time,
Dave Guerra

P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.

As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com

I invite you to
follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra
visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Technorati Tags: • The Walking Leader • Business Owner • Ethics • Character • Values • Morals • Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero

The MIDDAY NUGGET: RESET YOUR PASSWORD NOW

Welcome to the Midday Nugget. The purpose of the Midday Nugget or its mission is to communicate to you about what is on my mind today. The one thing that weighs heavily with me today and we will go from there.

Today's Topic: RESET YOUR PASSWORD NOW

Today, May 21, 2014, we heard that eBay was hacked two months ago and everyone involved in cybersecurity is not asking but telling us to reset our eBay password now?

I know, too little too late. Why wait two months? It seems that "[t]he hackers grabbed the customer database between late February and early March." Then "..it wasn't until two weeks ago that eBay discovered employee credentials had been stolen", and it goes like that. It goes like that because quite often we don't know about a problem until it becomes a problem (usually a big one).

Back when farming was big business, the farmer didn't know there was a problem in the hen house until there were chickens missing and with a little investigating there was a trail of feathers leading to the fox's den. All was until the fox got into the hen house. There was no problem until the breach in the fence was discovered. However, after having enough hens go missing old Farmer Brown would make a conscience effort to check the fence around the hen house on a daily basis.

The same applies today but with our digital fences. If you don't do so already please start checking all your digital fences on a regular basis. If the digital fences (your passwords) are too old (anything over 6 months) then it is time to change them.

Now I won't go into details as to what to change your password to but I will say this:
DO NOT CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD TO
  - ABC123
  - 1234567890
  - ABCDEFG
  - your phone number
  - your date of birth
  - your kid's name
  - your spouse's name

Don't even think about it.

When you go to your websites that require a login password, use their recommendations on how to create a password. If the site you are using does not have a recommendation, then it may be time to close that account. If they don't care enough to give their clients/customers a little guidance on what to do and how to do it, then they don't care, at all. OK, maybe they care a little bit and it may be just enough to take your money from you. Is that a good thing?

The take away here is to be prepared, be vigilant, and above all be consistent. It is your private information that is at stake and you have to do what you can to protect it. So, get out there and protect it before someone else uses it.

Thank you,

Dave Guerra

P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.

As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com

I invite you to
follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra
visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Technorati Tags: • The Walking Leader • Change Your Password • Secure your data • Protect Your Digital Fences • Protect Your Information • The Midday Nugget • Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero

Midday Nugget: Relevance / EVERYBODY IS RELEVANT!

Welcome to the Midday Nugget. The purpose of the Midday Nugget or its mission is to communicate to you about what is on my mind today. The one thing that weighs heavily with me today and we will go from there.

Today's Topic: Relevance (Being Relevant)

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines relevance as  "1. a: relation to the matter at hand
b:  practical and especially social applicability :  pertinence
2:  the ability (as of an information retrieval system) to retrieve material that satisfies the needs of the user."

It seems that in 2014, well into the 21st Century, there are still people that believe that there has to be "CERTAIN" people that matter. They truly believe that only a few people that matter. They can't comprehend that there are more than a couple of people that are relevant. They truly believe everyone else is irrelevant or do not matter. Incomprehensible I know.

Völlig UNFASSBAR! / Totally Incomprehensible

Why am I talking about today's subject. Well, there are two reasons. The first, was at a recent function at my daughter's middle school I was witness to something most disturbing. A set of parents approached the school principal and interrupted his conversation with the school's lead custodian to say Hello and shake the principal's hand. The principal then proceeded to introduce the man to the parents however, they wanted nothing to do with him. The parents then looked at the custodian as if he was leper and completely dismissed him. The man had obviously had this happen to him before shrugged it off and went about his business.

A little bit later the parents were working the room. Stopping at the tables of the parents that were in their opinion "people that mattered" and were introducing their daughter to the other parents. Sure, there is nothing wrong with meeting new people and introducing them to your family. However, how they went about it was not something that I want to teach my children to do. I know that everyone has their own way of doing things. However, try behaving this way in the business world and see how far it get you in 2014 and beyond.

Also I was shocked when I saw this video of a Gary Vaynerchuk Q&A session at South by Southwest earlier this year in Austin, Texas. When you watch the video you can see that even Gary Vaynerchuk was taken back by the question.



I like Gary's response and he hits the nail right on the head with it. His answer is spot on. Everyone is relevant and if you stop to figure out who has relevance and who doesn't then in the 21st Century you can rest assured that you are not going to get what you want because you are not getting with the right people.

The right people?

Yes, I wrote "the right people" and they are everyone involved with the people that were once perceived as the the "relevant" people.  In 2014, the right people are the gatekeepers, the next door neighbor, the bank clerk, the receptionist, the janitor, the high school security guard, EVERYONE. Those are the relevant people and EVERYONE IS RELEVANT!

Trust me, those are the people that can do more for you than the the lawyer, the doctor, the high school principal, or any "top dog" can. The thing is that everyone else will work with you, vouch for you, and ultimately be in your corner while the lawyer, doctor, principal or "top dog" is too busy, too self-important to give you any time or attention. Thus defeating your original intent.

A word of warning: if you are using someone just to get to that "top dog" then rest assured that the individual you were schmoozing will not work with you, not vouch for you, and most certainly they will leave you standing in your corner by yourself.

Be genuine and authentic with any one and everyone you deal with and things will work themselves out. Fail to see everyone as relevant then you get what you deserve: Nothing.

Thank you,
Dave Guerra

P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.

As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com

I invite you to
follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra
visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Technorati Tags: • The Walking Leader • relevance • everyone is relevant • Be Authentic • Your message • The Midday Nugget • • Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero

Midday Nugget: Communication

Welcome to the first Midday Nugget. The purpose of the Midday Nugget or its mission is to communicate to you about what is on my mind today. The one thing that weighs heavily with me today and we will go from there.

As the Midday Nugget is about communicating to you, my first set of Nuggets will be about COMMUNICATION.

There comes a time when everyone wants their voice heard and no matter how hard they try sometimes, no one is listening. For example, sometimes somebody walks into a room and does not look to see that others are not paying attention or paying attention to something or someone else. You want your message to be heard but it is not coming or getting across to the intended recipients.

WHAT THEN?

It is all about SELBSTDARSTELLUNG (or Self-Presentation)!

“Self-presentation is behavior that attempts to convey some information about oneself or some image of oneself to other people. It denotes a class of motivations in human behavior. These motivations are in part stable dispositions of individuals but they depend on situational factors to elicit them. Specifically, self-presentational motivations are activated by the evaluative presence of other people and by others’ (even potential) knowledge of one’s behavior.” (Mullen, B. (1987). Self-Presentation Theory: Self-Construction and Audience Pleasing. Theories of group behavior (p.71-87). New York: Springer-Verlag.)

Basically, it is all about how you carry yourself, how you project the image of yourself, when you project it, what image of yourself you choose to project and most importantly, how others see you.

If you feel that your self-presentation is not helping your message get to its intended audience then it may be time to step back and work on that presentation. I know I have to work on it constantly because CHANGE is the only constant.

Until The Next Midday Nugget, Have A Good Day!
Thank you,
Dave Guerra

P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.

As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com

I invite you to
follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra
visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Technorati Tags: • The Walking Leader • Selbstdarstellung • Self-Presentation • Change • Your message • The Daily Nugget • Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero

ABCs of 2014: Day 7: Always Be Giving

Today's ABCs of 2014 is: ALWAYS BE GIVING. A for Always, B for Be, and C for Giving (the C is silent).

With the holiday season freshly behind us, reminder what was all around during that wonderful time of the year: "it's better to give than to receive."

GIVING does not only apply from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve then tossed aside a little after the Tournament of Roses Parade comes to an end.

Try doing this "Giving is Better Than Receiving" -thing all year long. Seriously, why not turn the Twitter based "30 days of Giving" into a LIFE based 365 DAYS OF GIVING?

GIVE EVERYDAY! It is that simple




If you are short on ideas of what to give, how about just giving some LOVE! After all, Love is All You Need, at least that's what the song says. When it comes to songs, I give John, Paul, George, and Ringo top priority.

Thank you,
Dave Guerra

P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.

As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com

I invite you to
follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra
visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Technorati Tags: • The Walking Leader • ABCs of 2014 • Daily Motivation • Daily Success • The C is silent • Always Be Giving• Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero

ABCs of 2014: Day 1: Always Be Asking

Today, I am starting something new.

Once a day, for the next 26 days, I will post what I call the ABCs of 2014. The purpose of them is provide a little motivation on how to succeed in 2014 and be better than last year.

The first ABCs of 2014 is: ALWAYS BE ASKING. A for Always, B for Be, and C for Asking (the C is silent).

Always ask for something! Ask for an answer! Ask for Help! Ask for someone else! This means that you have to always keep asking otherwise how will you learn something? How will you learn anything? If you are asking for someone else then do so only with the intent to empower them to start asking for themselves. Remember, you won't always be around and who will ask for them? They will have to learn to step up and ask for themselves.

Now, as for you, well you will just have to just continue asking for yourself.

Thank you,
Dave Guerra

P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.

As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com

I invite you to
follow me on Twitter: @daveguerra
visit my website: www.daveguerra.com

To order your copy of The Walking Leader:  Amazon Paperback / Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble

Here are some Technorati Tags: • The Walking Leader • ABCs of 2014 • Daily Motivation • Daily Success • The C is silent • Always Be Asking • Dave Guerra • Leadership • Leading • Leadership Development • Professional Development • Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way • Ready, Fire, Aim! • If it ain't broke, break it. • Hire Crazies • Ask dumb questions • Pursue failure • Spread Confusion • Ditch Your Office • Read Odd Stuff • Avoid Moderation • Higher, Admire, Desire, Require, Satire, Inquire, On Fire, All Possible Scenarios • Give to the American Red Cross • Hire A Hero