Like many of us, when we were growing up our grandmother or mother would tell us to be kind to one another. More often than not, we would pay attention to what they said. However, as we get older and older, we got cynical, more cynical, and still even more cynical. Which in turn, led to picking and choosing who to be kind to and when to be kind.
Believe me when I tell you that as I was growing up I found it easier and easier to choose when to be kind and when not to be kind.
However, parenthood and marriage and seeing how far not been kind actually gets you. You start to change your mind set I know I had to.
Now I find it easier to be kind most of the time (oh I still have my moments). However, there are still those knuckleheads and nitwits that seem to go out of their way to do whatever they can to put themselves in a position that gives them nothing more than a slammed the door in their face. You cannot change them, their attitude or their behavior but you can change yours.
Take for instance, the door-to-door salesman that refuses to take "no" for an answer. You try to be nice and say "No, Thank you" and yet they persist. You give them a second "No!" and this time with a little frustration creeping into your voice, yet they persist. You are now your third "NO!" They do not seem to care and they remain persistent all because they want to make the sale. What do you do? You tried being kind not once, not twice, but three times. Enough is enough!
Kindness goes out the window and in sets frustration, anger, and threats to call the police if they do not leave your property immediately.
Now in your world, it might not be a door-to-door salesman but it may be a co-worker, a client, a boss, a neighbor or whomever what can you do?
You start by being kind, you start being nice, you start being generous but where does that get you? It does not matter where that gets you, it certainly does not matter where he takes you. What does matter is that you decide to be nice, kind, and understanding right from the start. Then you have the upper hand you are on the higher group because you are starting something on a positive note. You are trying to go into any situation with a WIN-WIN attitude. An attitude that says you are going to listen but you are not going to be walked all over.
Now, if the salesman (or whomever) had accepted the first “No” then the entire situation would have ended on a positive note. Who knows maybe next time it will be a “Yes”? Maybe the next time your neighbor would respect the noise levels and turn it down at midnight instead of cranking it up until 1:00 AM and someone has to call the police.
So start with a smile and a little kindness and see where it takes you. Where kindness takes you is all that truly matters.
Thank you,
Dave Guerra
P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.
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