It's that time of the week again. That's right this past Tuesday
night and every Tuesday evening from 8PM to 9PM EST, I participate in
the #LeadFromWithin tweetchat hosted and led by Lolly Daskal, author of "Thoughts Spoken From the Heart: Over 500 thoughts that bring meaning to your life"
I invite you to join us every Tuesday evening.
On the evening of TUESDAY, JUNE 3, 2014 the topic was "MANAGING CONFLICT WITH PEERS"
Due
to a family event, I was not an active participant in this week's
#LeadFromWithin tweetchat. However, I am still going to answer Lolly's
questions.
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Q1. What causes conflict between peers? #leadfromwithin
A1. Conflict comes from misunderstanding one another due to lack of thorough 2-way communication #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: Misunderstanding due to miscommunication is the root of all conflict.
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Q2. When is conflict good between peers? #leadfromwithin
A2. Conflict is good when focused passion about what's important is at the center aka problem solving not problem creating #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: Conflict is good when focused passion about a subject that is important to all is at the center (problem solving not problem creating) #leadfromwithin
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Q3. When is conflict destructive between peers? #leadfromwithin
A3. Conflict is destructive when the “us vs. them” or the “with me or against me” mentality is all that everyone has #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: The destruction comes from forcing others to choose sides and if they choose the "wrong" side then there is no turning back. Having an open end discussion, where no one is right or wrong, then the destruction is minimized.
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Q4. Why are emotional conflicts between peers uncomfortable? #leadfromwithin
A4. Emo-Conflicts will bankrupt any emotional bank account faster than any other conflict because it is rooted at a personal level #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: When the conflict gets deeply personal then raw emotions are exposed and stressed to a point that the relationship may never recover.
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Q5. What are some goals to achieve when in conflict with your peers? #leadfromwithin
A5. Some goals to achieve when in conflict are: 1) Win-Win 2) a definitive plan to achieve the win-win #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: Everyone wants to win. However, in a conflict every opportunity to create a win-win situation must be exploited.
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Q6. How do your values affect conflict? #leadfromwithin
A6. Values affect conflict in type, level, duration, and collateral damage #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: The individual's value system will determine to what extend and depth they want to take the conflict.
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Q7. How does power and politics affect peer conflict? #leadfromwithin
A7. Much like everything else, those with the power & politics will set the example for the rest to follow in a conflict #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: If those with the power want to set the right example on how to handle conflict then they will do so every time.
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Q8. What is the difference between bullying and peer conflict? #leadfromwithin
A8. It’s a fine line between bullying and peer conflict. One leaves people intimidated from trying something different the other encourages it #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: It is a fine line and sometimes the line is blurred. A leader must do what he or she can to keep the line well defined and to stay on the right side of that line.
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Q9. What are some good processes for managing conflict with your peers? #leadfromwithin
A9. Knowing that conflict is expected and can be good. Leaders must encourage “controlled” conflict & not an all out free for all #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: Realizing that conflict will happen a leader must do what she can to create positive results from the conflict and never let it get out of control.
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Q10. Do you subscribe to FORGIVE AND FORGET yes why or no why not ? #leadfromwithin
A10. I subscribe to Forgive and Move On. Bullies want people to forget so they can start up again. Don’t forget but don’t dwell either. #leadfromwithin
COMMENTS: You can never forget. You can however proceed with caution.
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Thank you,
Dave Guerra
P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.
As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com
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visit my website: www.daveguerra.com
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