Every Tuesday evening from 8pm to 9pm EST, I participate in a Tweetchat with Consultant, Coach, Speaker, Founder of #LeadFromWithin, and Author Lolly Daskal (Thoughts Spoken From The Heart).
The #LeadFromWithin Tweetchats are insightful, thought provoking, and generate genuine conversation. Hundreds, if not thousands, of Twitter members join the conversation every Tuesday night. You should join us.
Each week, it is a different topic. Our host, Lolly Daskal, over the course of the hour will post 10 questions related to the topic. Every questione ends with the hashtag #LeadFromWithin. Every participant is encouraged to respond to each of the 10 questions. The responses are UNIQUE, INSIGHTFUL, & INSPIRING! You have to read them (well, as many as you can) as they go flying by on your Twitter feed.
I invite you to join us every Tuesday evening for the tweetchat and throughout the week be on the lookout for the Twitter hashtag #LeadFromWithin
On the evening of Tuesday, March 18, 2014, the topic was “The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback.”
Here are Lolly’s questions and my answers. Enjoy!
Q1 What is feedback? #leadfromwithin
A1. Feedback is dialogue from others designed to inspire us (our future self) #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: Feedback is primarily designed as a tool that helps us build up and make us better. Feedback should be something that not only inspires us to be better people but when done right we help others become better.
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Q2: Feedback should be about………………? #leadfromwithin
A2. Feedback should be about the good, the bad, and the ugly. A full perspective otherwise why bother #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: Feedback should be given from a 360° perspective. Feedback should never be one sided. From the way we carry ourselves to the way we tie our shoes to the way we color in a coloring book. Feedback must be all encompassing for it to be effective.
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Q3: What are some do’s and don’ts when it comes to feedback? #leadfromwithin
A3. Do be sincere & honest. Don’t be mean but Don’t pull any punches. #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: When it comes to feedback you have to be sincere when giving it just as you have to be sincere in accepting it. If you want feedback then be prepared to hear the good and especially the bad. The ugly will take care of itself. You have to hear it or you have to give it but do not make an ass of yourself while doing it. Then it just doesn't work.
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Q4: How can we make feedback a gift? #leadfromwithin
A4. When feedback is accepted with authenticity and appreciation #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: Sure you can package it up all nice and neat and it will make somebody feel good almost as if you've just given them the greatest Christmas present of all. That doesn't work! What does work is being honest, authentic and appreciative of the fact that you had the honor to give someone feedback or had the honor to accept feedback from someone else.
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Q5: What are some mistakes when giving feedback? #leadfromwithin
A5. Giving feedback when not all that was observable was not observed (a.k.a not seeing the big picture) #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: When you only see half of the presentation or catch a story at the end or see just part of the big picture you are in no position to give honest and genuine feedback. As you do not have all the necessary info to give a full 360° perspective from your point of view there really is no point in attempting to give feedback.
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Q6: What are some excuses for not giving feedback? #leadfromwithin
A6. Excuses for not giving feedback stem from fear of confrontation or possible confrontation thus fight/flight instead of communicating #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: Providing feedback is a form of confrontation and if you're afraid of confrontation, in any form, then providing feedback is not for you. Don't attempt it, don't think about it, just put it out of your mind. The confrontation does not need to be hostile. You are confronting someone when you give them feedback because you're not only telling them what they did right but what they did wrong. Providing feedback is definitely not something for the shy or timid. Providing feedback takes courage because you don't know how the of the person's going to take it even if your intentions are good you still do not know how they're going to receive it. However, when done right it is right.
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Q7: How can we become a better receiver of feedback? #leadfromwithin
A7. Continuously asking for feedback no matter how big or small we need to hear it. How else can we become better? #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: We need to constantly receive feedback. When it is not presented to us then we have to ask for it.Just like anything else that we want to master, we become better receiving feedback when we get it. At first, we might not be so good at receiving feedback from others but over time we start to filter out and filter in those emotions and anxieties in order to properly process the feedback.
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Q8: When does feedback not work? #leadfromwithin
A8. Feedback does not work when all sides are having monologues and not authentic dialogue (it’s about communication) #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: It is that simple, if everyone is talking and no one is listening then how can anything be done? How can feedback work? In that environment, it does not work. It can only work when there is true dialogue and absolutely no monologues. There has to be two way communication for feedback to properly work!
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Q9: The best way to give UPWARD feedback is……….? #leadfromwithin
A9. Best way to give upward feedback is to give EXCELLENT downward feedback. Your reputation will precede you! #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: Giving excellent feedback to your subordinates and peers will make it that much easier to give feedback to those up the line. Not being afraid to give effective, excellent feedback will help when it comes time to give feedback to superiors.
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Q10: Why is feedback important? #leadfromwithin
A10. Feedback is important 'cause for some people that it is all they can do to help make you a better person a better leader #LeadFromWithin
COMMENT: If someone can offer you no other support other than pure, honest feedback then you are a very lucky individual.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I do appreciate it and until next week,
Dave Guerra
P.S. I do invite you to join the conversation and tell me what you are thinking.
As always you can read this blog post in its original location at http://daveguerra.blogspot.com
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